You're my sunshine

I feel so untouched and
I want you so much and
I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you.

WARNING! This journal may contain a shitload full of happy and unhappy things that may not interest you in any way. Thank you.

SO! I'm FINALLY done with my final exams <33! Today was my last: English. I thought I did fine _{It's ENGLISH. Like hell.} But since someone checked which is not that good in English, I'm beginning to doubt it . I'll check it later, but I still think it'll be fine. _{Even though you were so stupid to took your wrong dictionary with you.} As for the rest of my exams: besides Chemistry, all of them went pretty average. Which pretty much sucks, because I wanted to show I could get good grades by DOING something. The only subject I actually worked for was Biology, and even though it felt I did fine, I'm pretty sure the grade will turn out avarage. Or worse. But let's look at the bright side 8D.
I'll get the results on the 18th, but for now I'll *try* to live the oh-so-perfect life.

And I'm not so sure wheter it'll work, and I got serval reasons for that.

The fact that my parents are FORCING me to work. It's not that I care that much, I feel so lazy for not having to work one day in my live until this day. _{Except for babysitting, but that's pretty much doing nothing in someone else's house xD.} I'm to lazy to find work, and I don't want to cancel al my fun because I've got to do something or something. Ah well.. we'll see how it turns out.

And my stomach is KILLING me. PERIOD. And It's not because of my period, really. Two people cause it.

First is the ex-best-girlfriend, which I love, loved and still love. She was my best friend, we saw each other every day and had a shitload of fun together. Untill she moved to a faraway place and the contact jsut.. died down. It didn't feel right, and I did want to visit er when I could. But I do go on vacation a lot, and when I didn't.. somehow there was something that made me stay home even though I didn't want to.
And so our contact died down. Until this friday, when she suddenly talked to me again, only telling me to read a tabloid: she has boulimia. And I've got to read that in a fucking tabloid. About my best friend.
It hurts. It hurts to know you've grown so far apart. It hurts to know that she wasn't doing that great, but you didn't realize. It hurts to know you could be there for her, but you weren't. It really does. And I've been feeling guilty about it for a while now, even though I know I couldn't do much about it anyways.
I've read the article now, and I cried while reading. Others that knew didn't really care as much as I did, saying she was exagerating as always. Still, I'm not like them. It really hit me hard.
I jsut want her beside me.

The second person is the guy with a million emo-stalker-fangirls. The guy that's been in my life for a while now, and.. well.. it's been a pretty wack time between us . And it feels stupid to say, since I've sworn it. But a lot of thinking and the breakup with his gf made my head trigger again. And now I'm in love.
I just want him beside me

And those two combined on a fridayevening made my head.. tumble and even more unable to concentrate. Maybe that's why the last two tests went so different as the others. But now I;ve got that nervy feeling in my stomage again, and I don't know how to get rid of it. IT'S SO ANOYING.

Ah well. Time heals. I'll find a way for me to get over it, right?
_{You won't.}
Whauw, thanks for the support, really :'D! Seriously, fuck you.
_{And you're very much welcome.}


BUT there're good things happening too 8D! My summervacation started, YES <333333! _{It didn't. Your Spanish and Biology needs you.}
STFU I'll do that later.
And _{beside working} I already found some summer-projects to do 8D.

~ I'm going to Americaaa 8D. With my parents & granny's :3. It's gonna be fun :3
~ I'm going to exercize with some friends . Yes, it's weird. But it'll be fuuuuuuun 8D.
~ I've got this whole list to do wiht a great friend of mine, which we'll BREAK DOWN into pieces and TRY IT ALL 8D!
~ DO A BIKINICARWASH! At some dude's dad's car
~ GET DRUUUUUNK! WHOOOOOO!
~ No seriously: party my ass off.
~ Learn myself some Spanish/Japanese (on my DS. Lol )
~ And when I;m bored alone, I'll be working on my SUPER-AWESOME-MEGA DIARY 8DDD!

WTF is that? Well, I figured I've got a collecting habbit.
_{SERIUOSLY NO WAI! JUST FIGURED! IT ONLY TOOK YOU 17 YEARS I'M SO PROUD OF YOU 8D}
Eeh. Yeah. ANYWAY . I'm gonna print pictures and pictures and journals and poetry and EVERYHTING that has something to do with my live and I'll put it in some giant book 8D. And I'll love it :3.
But I'll tell more about it later, since this journal is growing.. enormous .

Love you all !
_{Lol click.}

------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]